I've been thinking about this post for a couple of days. I almost decided to bag it after the day that I've had...It's been a crap day....beyond crap. Instead of letting things weigh me down, I'm taking today and throwing it as far away as possible. Given the choice there is no way I would repeat it. So I'm letting it go. I'm sure I'll get hit with more crap later anyway, so best to write this post and be done with it.
I don't usually throw my opinions out there when it comes to anything political. I'll be honest, a lot of political stuff goes over my head. It's very possible that the study I heard about this morning on the radio about eating excessive amounts of sugar making you dumber is true....because some days I feel like a complete idiot. But the debates right now over gun control and mental illness are about to drive me insane. The events that happened in Connecticut are mind boggling.....we will never know the reasons that this man (barely a man) did this...never. The majority of us can not grasp why anyone could do something so horrific. It was beyond awful, sickening to hear about, sad beyond words and my heart goes out to the entire community. For days now anytime I think about it I cry. Too many innocent lives taken so senselessly.
This is the thing....and I don't much care if anyone agrees or disagrees with me. This is just how I feel, just how I see things. Because I don't really know where we begin on trying to change things. Guns....I grew up with them, my dad was a hunter. I grew up learning how to shoot. I went hunting with my dad a few times. I know how to shoot at ducks and small birds. I feel comfortable with a gun in my hands, they don't bother me. People who are avid gun collectors or hunt for sport, are not likely to go on a shooting rampage. The guns are already out there to buy legally or illegally. Banning them only means the people who really want them will find them other ways. Sure it might make it a little harder....but they will still be there. I have a couple of experiences buying guns, but let me tell you how easy it can be. Maybe 12 or so years ago Todd and I went to a gun show. It was in a big convention center, there were many...many people there. We walked up to one of the vendors, and asked what it would take to buy a gun. Basically, to make a long story short, we could have walked out of there with a previously owned gun...no questions asked, no paperwork filled out, just money exchanged. Are you amazed...infuriated? You should be. But I hate to break it to you, it happens everyday...in public, in private. In the middle of a crowded room and behind closed doors. Guns are always going to be around. How do we fix people getting their hands on them that have no right having one? Good question. If someone doesn't have a record, has never been convicted of anything, has never done anything to cause alarm. They can get a gun. What if they then go on a shooting rampage. Are we supposed to be mind readers? What's your solution? Is there one? I hear people saying "stricter gun laws".... yea ok great. And the guy at the gun convention....or the pawn shop....or the house in the middle of the city...or the alley.....who doesn't give a crap about gun laws? More arrests? More jails? More what?
The person intent on killing..... Would you know the warning signs? Would you understand the warning signs? There's a lot of people out there that say "Hell yea I would". Would you really? Because I gotta say, I don't think I would. To me a lot of these signs, fit a lot of teenagers...mostly boys. What makes that person suddenly snap? That's what we don't know....this is the question we should be asking. Everybody keeps zoning in on one piece of this huge puzzle. Everybody needs to take a few steps back and try and look at the entire picture.
Do I feel my kids are safe at school? Yes I do. Why shouldn't I? How many schools are there in the United States? This is not an everyday occurrence. It is horrible to think about. There are a million what ifs. But ask yourself this. Do you want to live in fear? Do you want your children to be afraid to be somewhere they should feel safe? I'm not going to give my children undue anxiety, because there is a 1 in whatever chance something may happen. The fact of the matter is, people die everyday. There are no guarantees that when we wake up in the morning that we are going to make it to the next day....none. I get that this incident has raised questions and heightened awareness. But the fact is....when somebody has become so mentally unstable that they are planning to kill people....they most likely are really planning on killing themselves. They feel justified in what they are doing. They are on a mission and they are going to find a way to complete it. Unless we plan on having our children in schools that are made of impenetrable steel boxes....and locked shut while they are there.....then there is always a way for someone to get through. Not a very comforting thought. But like I said there are no guarantees in life, and you can't live each day in fear that "something" might happen. I'm glad that it has made us look at things differently, I'm glad it is making people ask questions. Because if we can do something...to help in decreasing violence...then it's always a good thing. Do I think the media needs to stop giving people that commit these horrible acts their 5 minutes of fame....because that's what it is? Yes I do. I think the media has become awful in this area. Stop focusing on the people that commit the crimes and focus on the people that deserve to be seen and heard. I can't stand the news anymore.
Did this make me appreciate my kids more....love them more...hug them more? I am thankful for every second of the day that I am able to spend with my children. I tell them I love them always. They know I would do anything for them. I'm their mother...of course I love them. I'm not sure what I would do if something happened to any of them. It would probably be more pain than I ever want to even think about. I wish I could take the pain away from any parent having to deal with the loss of a child. I wish we could live in a world where no child ever had to die before a parent. It really doesn't seem fair. But I do believe in God, I do believe that there is life after death, and I do believe that the things we don't understand now....we will understand one day. And I hope that everyone affected by this tragedy can feel all the angels that are surrounding them trying to give them a little bit of peace.
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