Write Down Your Memories, Share Your Memories

I moved to Utah with my mom and younger siblings, when I was 20.  My grandparents and relatives all live here and growing up, we would come to visit once a year.  My mom grew up in a home that was built by her grandparents.  My dad grew up on a farm in a home built by his grandfather.  I've always loved that.  Knowing how long those homes were there, and the history that surrounds them.  I didn't really appreciate any of it until recently.  Two years ago my mom faced the agonizing decision with her brother of what to do with the home they grew up in.  My grandparents have all been gone for a while now, and the house needed a lot of work. It was sold.  The couple that bought it, did exactly what needed to be done, and it looks amazing inside and out.  Although I'm sad it's not in our family anymore, it's still there and I'm happy that someone lives there and loves it.  This year my dad's brother and sister faced the same agonizing decision and the family farm was sold.  The houses will remain, but the property....the farm...will be gone.   I loved both of these places for so many different reasons.  The house my mom grew up in had a large orchard in the back, mostly apple trees, my grandpa was known for his apples. When we would visit in the Fall there were always bushels of apples on the front porch to sell. My grandpa's apples were the best.   When we visited my other grandpa at the farm, I loved walking up the yard, to where the horses were, past the peacocks and other birds, and I would run past the goat that I was a little afraid of.  I was thinking about why I used to love just walking around both of these places, through the orchard and the farm.  I remember it always being quiet,  they were kind of magical places for me.  I didn't understand the feeling I felt, walking around those places until recently, when I started really thinking about it.  The quiet, calm.  The feeling of peace and strength of family surrounding me. I could walk through either of those places and have an instant feeling of peace. I've lived within 5 minutes of both of these places for the last 21 years and didn't visit them nearly enough.

In the last month I've dealt with a son moving on, we still haven't heard from him.  His little brother misses him and keeps asking where he is.....I don't have any answers to give him.  I said good bye to our family farm and took a ton of pictures, and last week was the anniversary of the day my dad died 24 years ago. It's been an unbelievably emotional month for me, but life goes on.  I still have to go to work everyday, get kids to school, help with homework, make sure everything gets taken care of.  I love my son with all  my heart, but if he needs to figure out life without us, then I'll let him. 

I've always known how important it is to share our memories no matter how hard.  I know almost nothing about my dad's mom.  She died when he was a little boy, and it was too hard for anyone to talk about her without being overcome with grief and emotion.  Despite not knowing really anything about her, I feel a connection to her that I can't really explain. She is one person I can't wait to meet one day.  As I get older, my memory isn't as good.  I don't want my kids to grow up saying they don't know anything about their grandfather, and I want them to remember as much as they can about their own dad.  Not knowing how much time they have left with him, means that memories past and present are so important.  I love sharing memories that I have, some make me laugh, some make me cry.  Some memories aren't happy memories, but there's no rule that says you only write down the happy memories.  There is a 17 year difference between my oldest sibling and my youngest, our memories of our dad vary, some having many more than others.  My youngest sister having almost none.  THIS is why it is so important to write things down....to share them with each other....often.  It is important to remember where we come from, our memories help us see why we are the way we are.   We never know what experiences we may go through, that might help someone else years or generations later, who might be going through something similar.  Sometimes it's hard to write down what you are feeling.....do it anyway.  

“They say you can bear anything if you can tell a story about it.”
― Sue Monk Kidd

Write down your memories...start now, make time.  Share your memories....often