Sixteen Years of Marriage...

I've been in a really bad mood for a few weeks now.  The kind of mood where I don't really want to talk to anyone so I'm avoiding people.  At the moment my phone is almost dead and I'm seriously debating on whether I want to plug it in to charge it or not.  I've been trying desperately to pull myself out of this mood.  It's mostly due to the fact that I've been eating really crappy, and haven't been exercising consistently, and I'm fairly certain my hormones are out of whack.  I know how to fix it.....I'm just having a hard time getting myself there.  I'll get there.....eventually.  In the mean time, it is our anniversary.  We haven't celebrated this day in years....I'm not actually sure how many, but it's been a really long time.  For a long time I avoided this day, but this year I'm in a different place, so I thought I would go through pictures and see how much we have changed over the years.  I'm not sure that we will do anything, but we will at least acknowledge the existence of it this year. 

It all started with a blind date on February 22, 1997.  Todd had a 2yr old son who I loved from the beginning.



We got married February 21, 1998, and became an instant family with 2 little boys. Life was not perfect, or even close to it, but we started our family, and we did what we could.  Life was pretty crazy with 2 kids under the age of  3, and I thought... What could we do to make it even crazier? After only being married for a year and a half we had 3 kids.  Three of my greatest treasures. 






In April of 2000 we made things official, and I adopted our oldest, I don't regret that decision, even for a second.  It was one of my happiest days.





2004, we added #4 to our family....Another one of my greatest treasures, and our family was complete.  As I was going through 17 years worth of pictures, I realized that we really don't have a lot of pictures together.  That's mostly because I hate getting my picture taken, and partly because I didn't care.  There were a lot of things I didn't want to remember, and as long as we had pictures of the kids, I was fine with that. I've started taking more lately, just because....we need them. 





3 out of  4 of our kids are taller than me now, one has moved out and is on his own.  We hear from him once in a while. The others are growing up fast, and it's hard to believe sometimes, just how fast the time has flown by. 

Seventeen years together.  Sixteen years married, and we have finally gotten to a place, where we are ok with each other.   We have been through Hell and back more than a couple of times, and we have survived.   We are not the same people we were when we met. 

We have loved each other, and hurt each other.  Argued, and argued....and argued.  And we have grown up, and changed sometimes for the worse at first, but in the end for the better. 

We are a little bit older, and a little bit wiser.  I didn't wear my wedding ring for a few years.  I didn't want it there, it didn't feel right.  Forgiveness and letting go of the past, means wearing that ring, feels right again.  We still have some frustrating days, because after all we are not perfect. but we have learned to work together a little bit better.  It is never too late, to try and get it right.  Our love is different now, but there is love there, and I'm glad we have had the chance to forgive and let go of the past, so we can live in the present.