I hate winter...I hate everything about it. I hate the snow, the cold, the ice, the crappy inversion that makes it so you can't see the sky even when the sun is shining, I hate the black slushy crap that gets stuck in the wheel wells of the car from driving in slushy crappy snow, and I hate that I've never really had anybody to snuggle up with on cold nights. I don't ski or snowboard or do anything that involves "playing" outside and freezing my feet and hands and everything else. And I hate shoveling my driveway and clearing off my car and making sure my front steps don't kill anyone with the amount of ice that forms on them. Why do I live in a state where it snows all winter long? Yea....I ask myself that question right about this time every year. The winter blahs have more than settled in, and I'm trying desperately not to let it completely take me over. Last winter was fairly mild....this one, not so much and I'm hating every moment of it. I hate looking outside and seeing my yard covered in white. I want green and color and warmth and sunshine and leaves on the trees. I need to live in a place that borders on Spring and Summer all year long. If I never saw snow again.....I would LOVE it....I truly hate it that much. Once I get through February (the worst month of the year for me in so many ways) I feel like I can breath and function again. I laugh all of this off with anyone I talk to. I save my foul moodiness for when I'm by myself. My problem right now is I can't motivate myself to do....well....anything. I NEED to start working out again. I've had plans to start for the last 2 weeks. I'm finding it's a lot easier to climb back into bed after taking kids to school in the morning than just getting on my elliptical for 45 minutes even though I know I will feel much better after a good workout. I KNOW I will. I'm tired of life beating me up over and over and over again....and even though there's no more than the usual crap happening right now, I'm completely overwhelmed with it all. I'm tired and cranky and I just want something....anything to go right for me.
So.....bear with me (I actually just had to look that phrase up because I didn't know if it was "bare" or "bear")...I'm still here. I'm just working through some personal junk. I wanted my blog this year to focus on changes I'm making for the better. Things I'm doing for myself. Once I can force myself out of this funk it's exactly what I plan on doing. I have great personal goals for myself this year and I hope you follow along. I know I'll need lots of encouragement. I'm still here, just not in the right mood to be doing blog posts at the moment but I'm working on it.
