Ok before I start getting people wishing me Happy Birthday, I still have a couple of weeks....so let me enjoy my last couple of weeks in my 30's. The funny thing is I've always said age is just a number. I would say 95% of the time I actually believe this. It's really how you feel that matters. I don't feel any different now than I did 15 even 20 years ago. I've been married for 14 1/2 years.... My oldest son is almost 18 my youngest 8....and I have moments when I'm sitting with my 4 kids and I look at them and think.....who hit the fast forward button? I swear I can remember very clearly one day sitting at my kitchen table...my youngest was 1 in a high chair...my others 6..7..and 10...and thinking I wonder what it's going to be like when they get older? I'm telling you....it feels like I was thinking this yesterday....last week....not 7 years ago. Didn't I just graduate from high school.....go to college....get married?
I'll admit I did let the fact that I'm turning 40 get to me....for a couple of days. I think it's the shock of it all. That moment when you say "Holy crap....40?!" But then....I started looking back at my life. I may not feel different....but I have changed so much. The way I look at life, my goals, my dreams...what I've learned. Back then I was shy, naive, I had zero self confidence, I was unsure of who I was and what I wanted out of life. And I realized, I'm ok with where I am right now. I know where I want to be and what I want to be doing in the future. I even love the age that my kids are at. I might have 3 teenagers with full on teenager attitudes...but it's nice to be able to have conversations with them about their dreams and life and what they think and worry about and I love that we have that kind of a relationship. And my youngest is so sweet and full of life...he is my sunshine everyday.
So yep...I'm turning 40 and honestly it's not a big deal....I'm not someone that really does birthday parties. I would rather have a get together and bbq with friends and family on a random day than have a party for myself. I would rather go out and buy something that I need for my birthday than have people give me presents. I gave up on my husband buying me presents long ago...we just don't have the same taste and he's sentimental....and buys things that he thinks I would like. After the birthday that he took me shopping for a sewing machine...(I don't sew...not then...not now...not ever) and I hurt his feelings, because this was something he really wanted to get for me... I decided just to tell him, please don't worry about my birthday. I still have the sewing machine...I still don't understand why he had to buy it for me when I told him I didn't want it....and I've still never used it 10years or more later although my daughter does, so I've handed it down. For me, my birthday is just another day....with cake and ice cream. I'm perfectly happy just spending it with my family....No presents needed. And I've decided I like being the age that I am...20 was nice, when I was 20. But I like still feeling like I'm in my 20's and knowing so much more. It's really not a bad thing. 40....whatever...it's just a number.
No comments:
Post a Comment