Friday, September 7, 2012

A Need for Change...

OK....so I'm sitting here watching Dr. Oz.  My house is quiet....the kids are all at school, Todd is sleeping.  The subject that he was just talking about was Peri menopausal rage, and as they are talking about it, I'm sitting here in my head thinking...."Oh my gosh...that is me".   I literally have times when I feel nuts. when I get angry.....seriously angry over nothing.  I know my hormones are out of whack.  I say horrible, awful things....my husband is usually the recipient of this....and then when it's over I FEEL AWFUL.  I can get mad just because someone walks in the room at the wrong time. I don't know how many women out there go through this but at least I know I'm not the only one that this happens to.  I'll give you an example....because you know I like to put myself out there.  Conversation between Todd and I last week that set me off...

Todd... "Hey, do you think you can make the bed, I'm going to come in and lay down for a while?"

Me... "Can it wait until later?  I don't really feel good, I can tell my blood pressure is high and I just want to lay here for a little while"

Todd starts making the bed around me, and I throw the covers off the bed and BOOM I blow up...

Me... "My blood pressure is high because I'm stressed out all the time and I'm going to end up having a heart attack and dying.....and YOU....even with your bad liver and diabetes....still smoke and live on junk food and your blood pressure is perfect....I don't get it!

Todd..."Gee Angie....I'm sorry I'm not dying fast enough for you.....

And then I went to my car...went for a drive and cried.  Putting aside every problem in my marriage... That...is NOT me.   We might have a lot of arguments, but I'm not normally mean. 


So...solutions.....birth control....anti depressants.....or cut out caffeine, sugar, alcohol and I didn't catch all the supplements that you could take but I did hear Omega 3.    Well there is no way in Hell that I'm starting on birth control again, anti depressants...I don't really want another pill.  I've already accepted the fact I need to change my diet...alcohol...no worries there I don't drink....sugar I have mostly (98%) cut that out over the last 3 weeks....caffeine...Ugh.... If it helps at this point I have to be willing to try.  I have 3 diet cokes left in my fridge....I have tried to give this up soooo many times in the past.  I honestly don't know if I can do it, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm crazy.  I'm tired of anger and outbursts coming out of absolutely nowhere.   So I have my chia seeds and my flax seeds and I'm going to seriously try to give up  caffeine. Wish me luck..... And if there is anyone else out there who has experienced this and has any advice please...I'm begging for suggestions, because I'm tired of feeling....crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment